At home in Christ
Smoke clears from the fireworks. Bags
trundle along conveyor belts. The Australian hand luggage weighed down by
silver. The Olympics are done. I wonder what happens after the celebration
fades?
“Don’t leave your javelin in the hall.”
“Are these the dishes from when I left?”
“It’s not an Olympic pool but can you just
look in on bath time?”
There’s no gold medals for keeping your
temper. There’s no slow motion replay for taking the garbage out. Yet every day
there are feats of incredible care and respect in homes all around the world.
Every day calls for Olympian endurance, strength and grace.
More than once in the past week I’ve
listened to women wrestling with their husbands, figuratively not literally.
Often in these conversations I don’t know what to say. They’re trying to work
out how to live as godly husbands and wives. Though unmarried myself, as a
child I’ve witnessed first hand the messiness of multiple divorces and
remarriages. Regardless of your own marital status, who can really understand
the intricacies of another’s marriage? This side of new creation, godliness is
hard.
God’s grace teaches us to say no to sin and
yes to Jesus (Titus 2:11-14). Dr Claire Smith’s next chapters lead us through
God’s Word addressed to men and women at home, in our marriages. She continues
to be clear and thoughtful. As I read Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3 and Genesis 1-3,
I’m challenged by the nature of submission, I’m encouraged by the dignity God
accords to women, and I’m reminded again of how amazing the God is whose image
we bear.
“We have reduced headship and submission to
attitudes that have no tangible expression. We give lip-service to the biblical
model but our patterns of relating are so ingrained, and so influenced by our
secular authority-hating culture, and the pressures of marriage and family life
are so great, that it is all just too hard – especially when our marriage is
stable and we dare not rock the boat! But this is no way to treat God’s demand
of us. He demands radical obedience.” (Smith, 128.)
To obey isn’t often radical. To stop at a
red light isn’t revolutionary. Yet I’m reminded again how different God’s model
of relationships is to the world’s. Some years ago now I saw Bridget Jones’
Diary, not for the first time. Instead of enjoying it I was somewhat horrified
by the language, the selfishness, the idolisation of romance and destructive
patterns shown. God’s way’s different.
The model in Ephesians 5 is Christ and the
Church, His self-sacrificial love, her willing submission in everything.
Claire, like God’s Word, addresses both men and women, but it was the willing
submission in everything that really stood out to me as I read. There’s no area
of my life Christ doesn’t have a claim to. Everything’s his. I can whinge about
it and make excuses. Grudging obedience (or quite possibly disobedience) is
very different to joyful submission.
“Do I really need to be generous this week?”
“Surely, I don’t have to answer the phone if
mum calls in my favourite show.”
“If I had my coffee then I wouldn’t be
snappy on a Sunday morning.”
In all of life I’m Christ’s person. There’s
no moment I don’t belong to his family. Respect for Jesus impacts everything.
This reflection cast a new light on Ephesian’s only qualifications placed on
the instruction to wives. ‘Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit in everything to their husbands.’ (Ephesians 5:24) Once married,
in all of life I’m wife. There’s no moment I don’t belong to his family.
Respect for a husband impacts everything.
“…wifely submission requires intelligence
and wisdom, decisions and diligence, spiritual discernment and plenty of
repentance.” (Smith, 153.)
Submission is never to be exacted by a
husband. It’s a voluntary action by the wife. There’s great responsibility
given to women in this biblical instruction. In no way are women excused from
godliness or treated as morally or intellectually inferior. Women’s equality in
salvation gives great dignity and no excuse to escape obedience to our Lord
Jesus.
Sometimes it’s tempting to think, “If other
people weren’t so sinful, then I could obey.” “If he just pulled his weight,
then I’d do my bit.” It’s hard to be the first to say sorry. It’s hard to admit
my part and take responsibility for the things that are mine, and leave to you
the things that are yours. It may not be easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not
the right thing to do. By His grace, His Spirit convinces me His way is best
and gives the strength to keep going.
Over and above the details of day to day
stands a great big God. In the beginning he made light in the dark. He made us
in His image. He made us male and female. I’m astonished again to realise that
I show the world a little something of what God is like. Just by being human.
Especially by relating in God’s way as male and female. Most of all by being
made new in the one who is *the* image of the invisible God. That’s worth more
than gold.